Pulled From the Pit: Neil Getzlow on Sexual Sin, Forgiveness, and Recovery EP -137

Neil Getzlow shares his powerful journey from lifelong pornography addiction, infidelity, and blackmail to complete freedom in Christ. 

In this conversation with Nathan and John, Neil unpacks how God used a crisis moment, his wife Amy’s forgiveness, and the process of confession, recovery, and discipleship to restore their marriage and launch The Gideon Factor ministry. 

They also discuss Celebrate Recovery, Be Broken Ministries, and practical steps for men battling sexual sin, shame, and broken identity. 

Website:
To learn more go to:
https://neilgetzlow.com/ 

Music:
Intro and Outro Music by Jerry Abah
https://youtu.be/NJFQvXk36oM

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Accept the Lord, keep the city, they wake it in vain, they that watch over it. I want to always remember that no matter how incredible the ministry, or the mission, or the business being interviewed, it's all in vain if not for him. Thanks for joining us for another Faith Horizons podcast. The purpose of a Faith Horizons podcast is to discover the kingdom of God in Kansas City one conversation at a time. Well, welcome to another Faith Horizons podcast. Today I'm here with uh Neil Getzlow. Neil Geslow is welcome.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Hey, thank you. It's good to be here.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

So Neil Getzlow's got some story uh that we're gonna go get into. But um right now he's got a a ministry called the The Gideon Factor, and then also he has another ministry called Celebrate Recovery. Well, he's a part of another ministry called Celebrate Recovery. And um and we're gonna learn more about those later on, but really the where the story starts is um he wrote a book in 2021, is that right? That's correct. In 2021 called Unmasked and it's a conquering sexual sin and walking in victory, which kind of you know opens up the subject matter of unmasked. So you just begin to and the bookmark is where I'm at in the book.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Um wish I could have read the whole thing right now, but I've had so many other things come up that I've had to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Well, anyway, I'll just let you know introduce the topic. You've you've done it so many times before.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

So and you know it's interesting because I wrote that book, came out about a year after I got saved. Like it was really it was really raw, and like if you look back on it now, it kind of makes me cringe a little bit. Like, man, I like I was such a a baby, a baby follower at that point. But over the over the past five it would look a lot different today if I wrote that book today because I've learned so much in my walk with Christ. Yeah, that's so cool. And um that mountain that I'm about to describe is gets keeps getting further and further away from from me. And what's now more important is actually what's happening since then versus this. But to show it to tell you how I got here, and this goes back beyond 2020. This goes back 10 years old. Yeah. That's where I first got exposed to pornography. Um it I was it was in the early 80s, so this is way before the internet, and that's we're talking magazines and stuff. And there was a a Playboy Forest, the kids called it behind my elementary school, and that's where I'd ride my bikes, and I first got exposed, and that's where it kind of first got into my heart at theround the same time my parents got divorced. My siblings were all older, they had moved out of the house, so I had a lot of time to be alone. I had this hole in my heart that I needed to fill up with something because from that loneliness and that pornography was my drug of choice. Yeah. And but just like any drug that um is not enough to satisfy, and um led me to out led me to do stronger and stronger things ultimately led me to um discovering that you could um that there were women who were selling who were selling sex. And um this back just a pinch. Yeah, thank you. And um that led me, and I did that for most of my adult life.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

So when did you when did you discover that part of it? Because I mean, because pornography is like like you said, this is before internet era, so you're talking about magazines, but then you know, you get into the other more yeah, more physical aspect of it, you mean with another person anyway.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

It was when I was um just getting out of college, so I had access to you know, I was getting more money because I was getting a real job, so I had money um to burn. And um and and and again, the the the the porn was not doing was not working anymore.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

I was gonna say it's kind of like drugs. Like you take so much drug and then that no longer satisfies you. Now you need you gotta bump up to something to start with. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

I'm not saying that pot leads you to cocaine and heroin and all that stuff, but sometimes it does. And for me, porn was the gateway.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

That was your gateway drug. And one thing I want to point out too, um, you know, I've I've you know one thing people don't understand when when they think about looking at porn, well, it's a you know, it's a victimless crime. I mean, you're not hurting anybody. The people that are in those magazines and in those videos and things like that, many of them have been sex trafficked. That's right. Okay. They have relationship issues, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, high suicide rate, you know, all those things, you know. And so, you know, tell me that this is not a victimless crime. Well, not to mention your own self, you know. Yeah, your own self, but I'm just saying, they they are victims, and now you are becoming a victim and supporting the industry that has victimized them.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

It's you can't you can't sugarcoat that. And I'm sure you've talked to Russ Tuttle before from the Stop Trafficking Project. Maybe you have any. I have not, yeah. Okay, you should. I will. I will and uh he he has a great line which says basically if you've clicked on a pornography link, you you've contributed to sex trafficking by clicking on that link. Yeah. And and I believe it, and I believe it's the great poison in today's world, especially for for Christian men, because it teaches men to objectify women, uh-huh, but it also teaches women that it's okay to be objectified by men, that it's okay to do these things.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Um and so it's just um it is um well, it's also like kind of like, oh, this is what we have to do. As far as a woman, this is what we have to do to get attention. That's not not not true. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

So, anyways, that's that's how I got down that rabbit hole. But ultimately, then as I got to my into adult years, that's when I started needing, you know, in person, meeting up with women, brewing my first marriage, was about to wreck my second marriage, um, which is my current wife, Amy. Um, it led me to a hotel room in Chicago back in March of 2020. That's where I met a woman I had uh found online um on a business trip in Chicago. Went to her hotel room, and when I was about to leave the hotel room, there was a second bedroom door that opened up and out walks a large man. And he had this cell phone up in his hand and it had my wife's contact information on it. He's like, You're gonna have to pay us more money, or we're gonna call your wife. And it's crazy, like already, like I was in that room less than 20 minutes, and he already had discovered her Facebook account, her cell phone number, everything. Yeah. And um and so I paid about $900 to get out of that hotel room. And um, that's why I called my book Unmasked because I left the room, put my mask back on, and had great business meetings that day. Like no one knew what had just happened to me. And I I hit it in, even though inside I was I was petrified about losing my life. Um but um at this point, did you have children? Did you have we had we have a blended family? So I had two sons. Okay, and uh my wife brought three sons to the marriage. A lot of tearing apart at that point. I mean, yeah, it's the threat. That was that was the real threat, yeah. Well, I mean, that's our pastor talks about this all the time. When there's there's no order, there's chaos. Yeah, yeah. And God creates the order. Yeah. Um, and we get away from that, this is what happens. And so um, three days. So I I I actually came home from that business trip. Amy picked me up at the airport, everything was great. She didn't say anything, so I'm thinking, all right, this is cool. I'm gonna avoid the worst here. Uh but three days later, 9 30 on a Sunday night, the the uh couple from Chicago actually started texting me again saying you have 15 minutes to pay us, or we're gonna call your wife. And um, I I didn't pay because I just thought they would get bored and and move along. But then 15 minutes later, the phone I could hear my wife's phone ringing upstairs, and then uh she comes charging down the stairs into my office and she's like, Are you cheating on me? And and of course I did what any good addict would do, which is lied. Like, no, I'm not cheating. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this. You know, I don't know what you know, I'm being blackmailed. You know, what what I you know, this is horrible. And I, you know, I was more sorry that I was caught than I was sorry for for causing the pain in her life, right? That's where I was. And um that set off this, and this is right at the start of COVID, too. So two weeks after this blackmail, then the world goes crazy and gets locked down, and our jobs are impacted. So now we're both at home trying to figure this out. I'm not saved. I should add that she got saved. We none neither of us were believers when we got married. Three months after we got married, she became a follower of Christ. Wow. And did I mention that I grew up Jewish and was actually an atheist when all this goes down?

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Yeah, that's that's the that's the that's the introduction on your website. Jewish by birth, atheist by faith, biggest sinner of the world, and yet God was still waiting for me with open arms transforming my life. Yeah. I mean, so NeilGetzlow.com, by the way. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

I'm gonna say you're in you're in you're in some pretty good company. You've got C.S. Lewis was an atheist. I mean, there's some, you know, I mean struggle atheists. I'm just saying there were so many, you know, solid now.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

And then you've got the book out, I don't have enough faith to be an atheist. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

It's true though. I mean, well, we'll get it, we'll get into that, I'm sure. But um so that sets off the six-week struggle with my wife to try to save my marriage. And of course, she's like she I told her, I think I remember telling her at one point, I'm 99.9% sure I'm never going to be a follower of Christ in the middle of this. But finally on April 13th, 2020, um, she caught me again trying to go out and meet somebody. Um, and she said, There's only one way you're going to be able to save this marriage, and that's if you um pray and ask God for help. And so we went to bed that night on April 13th. I went to bed an atheist. On Tuesday, April 14th, I woke up. She had left the house to go blow off steam. So I was alone in bed, and so for the first time in my life I prayed. And I just said, God, like, I don't know what is going on, Lord, but if if you were there, if you were real, can you just I did the Gideon thing. Can you just give me a sign, right? That you are real and out there. And um, as soon as I ended that prayer, um the garage door pops up, and it was Amy, because Amy is the really the key to this story. She comes inside, I tell her I prayed, and she is very confused by that.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

And by the way, she contributed to the book.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

She did. Yeah, she did. Um, she um I was like, okay, well, and then was like, I guess we'll keep working on the marriage. Like she was very stunned. But then later that afternoon, God told me, He's like, You need to confess everything, you need to get it all out right now, take off the mask and expose everything to her. And I sat her down on that afternoon and and told her, and um, you know, she what she did next changed our lives. She said, Neil, Jesus forgave me for my sins. How can I not forgive you for yours? Yeah, I forgive you. And in that moment, that like I look back on it now, that was Amy offering me forgiveness, but that was the Holy Spirit working through Amy that says, I forgive you. Uh that's sure I just it is. Yeah. And in that moment, the chains of the chains of addiction broke broke away. Um, I have not looked at pornography since April 13th, 2020. I have no desire to. Um I went to bed on April 14th, 2020 as a follower of Christ.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Wow, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Um now, I will say it now what's happened since then, like I've got to rebuild my marriage, right? This doesn't this is it's g, you know, saying, hey, I'm a believer, I'm forgiven, is not a get out of jail free card. Absolutely. You still have to take accountability and responsibility, which I am still taking today for my actions. And um I had to that's the thing we talk about in celebrate recovery. God took away the worst of my sins, but now I've got all these wires that are frayed and are you know sparking uh that have come out of my heart. I've got to figure out how to plug those back in now. And I that's still that is an ongoing struggle session at time. It's so crazy. So, but it's um but God God transform has transformed our lives, you transform our marriage.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

So, how long after you know 2020, 2021, you're kind of coming out of this, yeah. You're you're re you're opening a new chapter of your life.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

You're like, I want to be different from you.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Literally, yeah. So, how long after that did you start you know participating? I I'm sure you were already participating as a as a uh did you did you did you join the celebrate recovery group as a person for yourself first?

SPEAKER_03 12:29

Or no, they didn't have one at the church at the time. Celebrate recovery is that's uh Rick Warren started that ministry back in 1991. It's it's like in several thousands, tens of thousands of churches across the globe. The Rock of KC, that's where I go to church. They did not have one. Um you know, it took me probably six months before I started going to church because again, because of COVID, there was no in-person church. So it wasn't for a few months until I actually started to go to church, and then I was just like a sponge soaking everything up, you know, about trying to learn how to be a follower of Christ, what did faith mean, all that. And um, but then I knew and I wrote the book, and and we actually what started, I think what started this was um now I was very eager to get on the platform and tell my story to the church. My pastor was incredibly wise and discerning, put very kindly put the brakes on me for a while because he needed to know that I was real. Yeah. He didn't wanna this who was this crazy guy that you know he's been around for a year and now he's you know, he wanted to see the fruit. And so um probably in the middle of 2022, he he put me and Amy on stage at the church. We told our story, and that's kind of where things started to break open. Just the number of men that would come up from our church that were either had gone through it or were still struggling with you know with pornography, the women who were being impacted on their side because their marriage was being impacted by it. And so from there, I was like, all right, there's I I I want to help. You know, Psalm 40 says, you know, I waited patiently for the Lord. He he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me up out of the pit and put my feet, made my footsteps firm and put my feet on solid ground, yeah, and pulled me out of the pit. And I I want to help pull other men out of the pit of the in this. And so um from there, that's where the Gideon factor came, was born.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

So you you actually started the Gideon factor. This is your own ministry. I'm not, you know, yeah. This is God's ministry through you. A hundred percent. You put it, you put a label on it, the Gideon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Although I now I you know now I kind of wonder if that label does there needs to be a different label, perhaps. Yeah. And the reason I picked Gideon is because Gideon was sort of a reluctant leader. Yeah. And that's for so long, that's kind of how I looked at myself as sort of a reluctant leader, but God called me out and and said, No, you're gonna you're gonna help lead other men out of here, but I'm not so reluctant anymore. Now it's I feel like it is a calling just to to help other men and so do individu, you know, to talk to men individually about what they're going through. Um that and then the church, um, I approach the church about a recovery program, and uh that's where celebrate recovery. We landed on that because it's it's more than just it it covers, yes, it covers alcohol and uh drugs and pornography, but it also covers all the again, all those heart heart issues that our church has a such a big passion for fixing hearts.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Now, do you need do you have people in that that maybe have not actually participated themselves or but have had you know bad experiences because of family members, alcoholics, pornography, yeah, drugs, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

I mean that's how that's where the root of most of our issues come from, is from something that happened in our childhood. Yeah is something that went wonky there, and then that's we we get a false identity. You know, for again for me, it was there was uh I had a f a spirit of abandonment, which is not true. Yeah, I wasn't I wasn't abandoned. God has not abandoned us. Yeah, we are part of God's family.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Well, but in your life you feel like absolutely and looking, you know, now I can't believe it. Naturally you were abandoned in a roundabout way, yeah. But then but like you said, like but you were never abandoned by God.

SPEAKER_03 16:16

Yeah, I mean it was it was feeling to be an orphan, but even though I had a family, yeah. But right, you come to see now, it's like yeah, I never he and I can look back on my life and see so many ways where God was was there. I just didn't know it. Yeah, like he was keeping me moving somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yeah. So yeah, it's almost like the enemy takes our truth, you know, and helps us drive the wrong direction with our truth rather than the Lord's like, well, wait a minute, just your truth is not necessarily it's skewed. Yeah, your your understanding of your truth is not true. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Yeah, so yeah, we believe the lie of the enemy. I believe that I was abandoned, and that's and then I put my identity in my career, yeah, in my job or in in my the money I was making, cars, houses, and then the identity was sex.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Yeah. So um, so you help you help uh men, and so what is the approach to like for celebrate recovery or for the getting factory for how what is the approach? Do you have a new person coming towards you? You know, he's you know been doing been working with this, having this problem for like 10, 12, 13, 14 years, his whole life, whatever. What is your first approach with somebody like that?

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Well, I the couple things, and and again, I prime I would primarily work with men who are believers. Okay. Yeah, primarily. And I do and I do believe 70, I think the number is over 70 percent of men who are professing Christians have said that they've looked at porn in the last thirty days. Right. Which is a huge number. Right. And uh so I although I'm not opposed if someone came to me out of the secular world and said I need help, I'd be happy to help them. I'm gonna point them to Christ. Because your your prime predominant approach is to the Christ, right? That is we gotta you gotta keep pointing people to Christ. That that to me that is it, and that's the first thing I ask. What is your well I ask what was your childhood like? Yeah. I want to know, all right, where did you where did things go sideways? And again, a lot of times there was an issue with mom or dad, yeah, something that went wrong as a child that you carried with you that that hurt and that pain. Yeah. And then I ask, what does your spiritual life look like? Yeah. And most of the time, not all the time, but most of the time, yeah, I'm I'm not really good about reading my Bible. I haven't been praying very well. Like you you can tell like they are just they've um I heard a message about from um a pastor about drifting. You know, they've drifted away from the path. And it you don't have to drift a whole lot, but if you just drift one percent over the course of time, you know, on a you know, 360 degree scale, you all of a sudden you're the tr you're the path of Jesus is going straight, and but you have drifted 90 degrees or whatever it is, and you're off over here. And you gotta come back to Jesus, number one, and that's because he's gonna provide you the the peace, he can offer the healing that that you need to be able to work on these things. Now, I will also say some like for me, he uh God broke me in a pretty dramatic way where I don't have that struggle anymore. Um that doesn't happen all the time. Sometimes God wants you to work. Like He's gonna give you the tools and resources to work, but sometimes He's gonna want you to do you have to take the steps. And that's about celebrate recovery is about taking the steps and working. God's gonna guide you and God will bless those steps, but there's work and accountability that you have to take to pull yourself out of this.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

That's so great. Um, so you on the giddy on the Gideon factor, you you said you were on your site, it says about be broken ministries. What is be broken ministry? Is that yeah?

SPEAKER_03 19:54

So I I um be broken ministries is a pastor by the name of um Jonathan Daughtery. Okay, and they he does a recovery um sexual purity class for men, recovery from pornography. It's it's a grace-based recovery. And I've had the opportunity to lead some online small groups for him through that. Uh and it's just about I think that's where we get stuck sometimes. That's where the shame cycle comes in. Okay. You know, if you sin, if you like the if you look at pornography, right? That was my shame cycle. I felt alone, orphaned, abandoned. I looked at porn to fill my heart up. I realized that was not right, even before I was saved. I knew something about that was not right. And so you that's then you go to, well, that's why nobody loves me. That's why I'm alone, because I'm doing this. And you go back to the top of the cycle and it just spins around and around. Yeah. Uh what breaks that is understanding forgiveness and and God's forgiveness. Uh and it and it's real. And that that's what we help men do is accept that forgiveness and understand that. Um and I also I like to tell men, and this is from from Jonathan Daudrey. And because porn is a little bit different than alcohol or drugs. Um because it's so easy to slip up and you wouldn't even it wouldn't even register with anybody, right? Right. But I tell men, okay, you're you're you're trying to go 30 days without looking at porn. You go 25 days you did good, five days you did bad. So you were 25 and 5. I guarantee you the Kansas City Royals would love to take a record of 25 and 5. Like focus on the 25 days you did good. What made you successful those days? Don't worry about the five, worry about the 25. I think too often we worry about the five, we focus on the losses and not the victories. Yeah, focus on the victories and what made you successful in those days. What were the routines you were doing? What were the disciplines you?

SPEAKER_01 22:00

were doing to get to it's like it's like any any seller, any person that's in the business market, you know, they're doing great, their their their profits good, but they're not worried about that. They're worried about the one complaint they got. It's like yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

And I'm the same way. I could be doing at work. I could get one bad email out of a hundred and I'm like that I I'm focused on that one. Like this is why I'm at Celebrate Recovery. Broken.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

So have you ever found okay so like people come into these type of programs whether it's the Gideon factory with you know the be broken with your yeah you know your life groups or whatever you know or the celebrate recovery. Do they ever graduate? Do they ever graduate or or is it more like I feel like Alcoholics Anonymous like just keeps members for life and it's like it's not a here's here's my take on it.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

I tell people especially those that come in to celebrate recovery if you walk into church on a Sunday you probably can go to celebrate recovery on a different different night like we all we all the church is not for the healthy. The church the church is like a hospital it is for those that are spiritually sick. Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Yeah right we unfortunately there are some churches that do not understand that you can go and you can ask you can say my marriage is in trouble I need help. Yeah and you're gonna get a response like well we can't change your spouse did I ask you to change my spouse no there's I understand there's two as we both need help but the hot the church is a hospital for sick people. I need some help doc.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

Yeah right that's right and so um so I tell like you can graduate from so what I do with getting factor is one-on-one coaching. Okay. So yeah so I mean I'm not yeah this is even a service now that you can actually sign up for right is that correct or if you go to my if you go to neilgetlow.com that you can they can contact me and we can set up time to talk and I also will have an affiliation with building bridges here going up soon.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Yeah I've been with Sherry Puckett for about four or five years been working with her on different things but Building Bridges KC you'll you'll have a link there I think on their staff page eventually where people can just sign up through that.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

But yeah so either way you know so we can and I can help I am um a certified Christian coach for sexual addiction and pornography issues so I can help I usually try to see someone I mean I'll say probably just kind of depends on what they're going through. But it takes it takes about three months to break a habit. Okay. So I I'd want to see someone one-on-one weekly or every other week for about 12 weeks just to but then what's where CR comes in that's where the group accountability comes in and you need that CR is a family and we encourage each other we hold people accountable you can get a sponsor there just like you would at AA get people to hold you accountable and that is so important. For me I don't think I will like I'm not going to lead Celebrate Recovery forever is not Neil's ministry it is God's ministry. Someone else who's gonna be much more um energetic and younger will come around and want to lead it but I'll still go because I still need it. Yeah I'm always gonna need it because that's just that's just how I am well you make relationships with people too there that you know understand you want to that's right yeah well yeah I mean you come in and you and I'll tell you if you go around the circle at RCR you know we've got 15 15 guys around the circle 12 of them probably at one point have struggled with porn. Yeah so guys know we there are people there who know to you and we have a pretty robust group of women who get together and and go through the you know talk about um it's so you have separate groups for men and women from a small group sharing standpoint. So it is just I just if you are struggling with anxiety depression are you you know um just uh you know like uh codependency like if you're struggling with with issues of the heart go to celebrate recovery yeah I know some churches also have uh program called re-engage yeah pleasant Molly Baptist Church has that yeah I I just I yeah I don't think I don't it doesn't I think as long as it's a Christ centered program I think you're in good shape.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

So the you know have your most people that are watching this have watched the Lord of the Rings before you know so you watch the Lord of the rings and at the very end if you watch the end towards the end of the the whole entire series you like Sam wise Gamge and Frodo Baggins like look at each other. Everybody's celebrating around him and they look at each other like nobody understands what we went through yeah except for us.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

There's a podcast I've been listening to lately called the Frontline men podcast and that guy loves Lord of the Rings and he mentions it several times hilarious. But I'm just I'm just saying like my wife loves the blonde guy with the bow and arrow you know there you go.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Anyway but I I think it's interesting because it's similar to what you know because these peep these men have been through it with you and you're like we understand each other well and and you know the shame yeah the shame keeps you from sharing.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

Yeah because you think why would anyone why would why would people like me if they knew I did this? Yeah. Why would people care about me if they knew that I did this and but that's what we m role model at Celebrate Recovery because that's what Jesus would do. He would love those that are hurting but here's the compassionate part and I think this is where the world loses it sometimes. They think it's just about love so I'm gonna love you no matter where you are at great agreed but here's the difference Jesus did not leave those people there. He didn't say I love you bye bye he said I love you now repent and follow me.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Yeah that's the difference and that's where I think a lot of the world misses that part yeah because that they yeah they I love you you know you're forgiven now repent and follow me.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

That's right so and repent means you've got to change the way you're living yeah people people that tell me that you know there's there's a lot of times people are like this there's no Jesus is free I'm like that's semi true right it's like half true Jesus does say take your cross and follow me it's like you know we but and and the other thing people again that people don't understand is well but but Jesus is loved yeah but Jesus isn't one that went into the temple and turned over the tables and ran people off with a whip and how many times did he literally scream with the fed the the feds uh Pharisees you know woe to you scribes and Pharisees you hypocrites yeah you know and what did he tell people even when he you know forgave he healed them of physical infirmities or he forgave them of you know other things now go and sin no more that's the part they don't want to hear that's right is the go and sin no more part that's right you know they just want the loving you know kind lovey dubby Jesus well yeah that's not the total truth and and I think that's what we do at it at CR and that's what I try to do with this men I talk to like I'm gonna love you where you're at like I I don't care what you've done.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Because Jesus loved me that way but I'm gonna I come on I'm gonna call you up out of this so what was some of the trans what is like somebody obviously we're not gonna say names sometimes what is some of the transformation that you see of men that are coming in they're just kind of an example of what you've seen.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

I mean we've got guys that are so they're they're coming in with multiple issues. Right? Pornography could be one of them and drinking and anger anger is a lot is what is one that we see a lot. And and that's one that's like it doesn't just automatically go away and it's never going to fully go away right because it's a mode of operation. Yeah but you've got to so we go through we have a thing called the step study it's about a six month program it's on a different night of the week we take men through it's a or and women take men and women through it. It's a 25 lesson program. It it teaches men to be vulnerable people that are going through the class it teaches them to be vulnerable how to share talk about the things in your past that have harmed you but then kind of works on ways to move beyond that and um men are breaking free from their anger they are in more control of their emotions they are feeling less shame the thing like the vulnerability like I I think a lot of times there is this feeling of men like they do cannot be vulnerable because that is a sign of weakness. Yeah and but being vulnerable so helpful because it does help you it gets those things out because once you expose your um your sins to the light the the enemy can't use it anymore against you. It makes it much harder and so men are are just marriages are improving. The less I and I I there's no it's hard to say right because it's not like and we do have we do have some men that go in there through with alcohol issues who are walking in sobriety now. And that's awesome and that that's all through I mean that is through the power of Christ. Yeah we are we are just we are just facilitators basically of of trying to and our mission is to point people back to Christ yeah and all of this.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Well sometimes I mean you said call somebody saying hey I mean I'm just struggling and blah blah blah you know and even like I mean I've struggled with pornography in my life I was probably seven fourth eighteen through twenty six probably you know and I mean like eight years at least and but we were internet was around when I was there so like I didn't know but like just the ability to like if you screw up to immediately almost have to realize what you're gonna do to yourself. When you screw up you feel like oh the Lord doesn't love me anymore. Well they immediately have to begin to fight that that you know I mean so just the ability to say I forgive myself immediately get away from this I'm a broken record. I'm you know the enemy hates me I'm you know I'm ashamed of myself you know because that's where the enemy wants to take you is just living in this this dumb this dumb space.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

So but yeah I mean it's and sometimes I think like sometimes you you're you have to be ready to walk away from your sins and and from from pornography. Yeah until you're tired of that tired of that and want to surrender it and lay it down it's gonna be hard to beat it but there is a guy there is one gentleman um that has come I first met him a couple years ago after I shared my story and he struggled with porn off and on and um he started coming to CR uh earlier this year. And he'd be he'd come off and on but he came in he's he's going on 60 days without looking at pornography and his he's starting to work on his marriage now and open up lines of communication with his wife. Again it's nothing that it's just when you again when you're able to talk about these things when you're able to hear other guys share what's working for them uh that's it's just it just helps hold you accountable.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Yeah and then also like the pursuit of the Lord during those yeah those years especially when you're single oh my gosh like especially when you're single just the pursuit of the Lord you have to you have to turn up the heat on that just you have to pursue stronger you know because you know when you're not married because when you're married you can kind of like redirect your whole problem not your problem but redirect your your attention to your yeah to your spouse you know she becomes a need for you you know so but then but when you're not married it's like where are you yeah where what box does this fit in right so you know and so that's much more difficult. So you almost have to like you know I don't know like it's if it is your drug of choice like it's almost like you have to figure out like how to counterbalance it with something else.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

Get rid of it you know well yeah what are you gonna it's what the replace it with well yeah that's what is I and I can't tell you where where in the gospel says is right and I think Jesus is talking about you someone who has all these demons inside their heads and they go they clean them out to get seven move back in. Well if you clean out your and that's how I tell people you got to replace the junk food yeah in your life with good stuff. If you just knock out the junk food but don't fill it back up with in your mind with good stuff that's other old stuff's gonna come back. Then that's what I did. Like I got rid of so for a while I got rid of social media I get got rid of watching sports all the time because I watched it all the time I got rid of watching streaming Netflix constantly everything that was quote unquote bad for me bad for my for just for me just from my mind the stuff that would lead me down bad paths I got rid of filled it up with reading the Bible filled it up with praying filled it up listening to worship music watching sermons online listening to podcasts everything I could get about God that's what I put in my head yeah and someone I remember someone says well you're you're addicted to Jesus now you know yes I am and I'm you know what will people think when they find out I'm a Jesus freak what will people think when they find out it's true I'm like okay you know I'd rather things you know I'll take it I'm I'm okay with that I'm addicted to my my my health of my family the Jesus and you know the things that God's doing in my life so yeah anyway well that's so cool man well it was great to have you on I mean is there anything else so if people want to look you up they could go to the I think the gideonfactor.org or something like that or well go to neilgetzlow.com oh neilgetzl.com info out that's on there about that ministry if they want to buy the book I'm sure is there a link to the book on there yep sure is yeah so you that's a one-stop shop are you gonna do a rewrite on this book sooner or later okay so I was gonna say you might let you mention this because there's a couple things that are have been happening one is yeah I've been praying for um now this has pretty much been my ministry even though my wife obviously had a has a big part in it's her story too but um actually tonight as we're um as we're recording this um on this day June 17th she's going to share her testimony at a women's group in our church wow the Lord is starting to bring her into the ministry so we are gonna going to start doing marriage ministry together through our church which um she's really excited about and it's she doesn't get excited about she's she her emotions are kind of just ah everything's good you know and but she's excited about it which is great so I think that's gonna be part of a new a new story and then um we have like I mentioned we have five boys between us um three of them are still lost and we continue to pray but Amy's youngest son uh gave his life to Christ three years ago and then uh last summer my son my youngest son um came out to us in high school uh eight years ago uh last summer he got saved and has walked away from that lifestyle yeah and uh and you talk about you know being celibate like he bel he he he reads he sees what Paul says about being celibate and he's taking it to heart uh and God continues to work in his heart and he's he's gone all in on church and so I think at some point there's gonna be uh I I mean who who writes a story like that who can write a story that says well you've got a Jewish atheist middle aged man who got blackmailed by a prostitute and then you got his son who was living an alternative lifestyle for so long in today's culture and turned away from that like from the same family. Yeah only God can write a story like that and uh I I just know that people there are people who are thinking can is it too late for my kids and I'm learning like no it's not like our influence is never too late. Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Never or is it too late for my marriage?

SPEAKER_03 37:37

No not too late.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

There's always hope and that and your one of your uh things on your front page of your website is a miracle there's no other way to describe the transformation that took place in my life how does a middle aged man uh trapped in a sinful life full of uh pornography infidelity alcohol drugs uh and anger leave it all behind you you put it like that I mean I was broken but but God right but God he can if he can change if he can change my story if he can change my life then he can absolutely change anyone's life well and this is just eight chapters 123 pages very easy reads in the back not a long read um but you're only halfway through so I'm waiting you're gonna expect a progress report like a random book report I got it hold me accountable brother so yeah well anyway I yeah I just was saying if you want to ever do a rewrite uh do a yeah another book I'm assuming you know because you know sometimes people like this is like the like you said the raw this is I'm just saved I don't even know what right and now you're like okay people yeah here's the reality of things when you do that you come back on the show and you tell us about it you're welcome back you know you almost self-evaluate the person who wrote this book and like listen I was all screwed up at this stage I was still yeah I mean I mean turn it over and read the back back cover I mean you know right but what I'm saying is like you know it's nice to see a transformation because even like if you read a book from somebody like when they first start writing books then you read the book you know ten years later from the same author it's like whoa two different authors you know my two different authors diff different different w takes on it you know so anyway it's cool that you're able to well punch out a book you know that fast too well here's the thing too like and I know and God is working on my harder on this yeah margin yeah you've got a lot of things that we've listed about things that I'm doing and and yeah my wife my wife very kindly reminds me about margin and making sure what is priority number one which is God and priority number two which is her.

SPEAKER_03 39:40

Yeah um and I've got to remember that and and I I'd like to have more time to write so I'm gonna figure out what things are gonna maybe fall away for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

There's a lot of you know there's just there's I mean you you're young so you have a lot of time left I appreciate you saying that and not as young as you might think you're not 90 so yeah I'm still here so I don't know so anyway but um anyway it was great having you and thank you so much we'll make sure we have the the website up and then I'm gonna put this all underneath the Gideon factor because that's your ministry and so or I guess it's neilgetzlow.com but we'll call it you know anyway and uh really excited for to hear from you in the future and yeah um the God is what God is doing with you and well uh if I have anybody that has these needs I'll send them your way.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

Please do thank you so much appreciate you guys God bless man thank you here's a quick update from Faith Horizons.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

I have recently added unique pages for each organization interviewed on the Faith Horizons podcast. These pages include all articles and posts for that specific organization and also include the opportunity to leave your testimony of experience with them. You can find these specific organization pages and the opportunity to leave testimonies on the front page. Please take the time to leave a testimony for whichever organizations have impacted you. It really helps tell the complete story of what God is doing. Thanks